Took the long way home tonight. I had to -- that's what you do, isn't it, when you're down, saddened, dejected over rejection?

I never expected Amy to say yes, but the no -- the "I'm seeing someone right now" -- just wasn't what I was hoping for. "Yeah, but does he have Springsteen tickets?" I should've said. Always the good lines after the fact.

But that's how it was -- Amy said no, and it hit me hard. Harder than I thought it ever could. "Ah," I thought, "no big deal if she says no." What she doesn't know is she broke up with me. I'd already taken her out on several enjoyable dates in my mind. Miniature golf on the boardwalk, dinner at a local tavern, canoeing in Massachusetts and camping in Maine. Drinking down the Shore. We had fun and today she ended that for me. It bothers me, too, that I lost all thought standing there by her car in the searing sun and drenching humidity. Are they a recent thing, or did I have no chance? Was there a "sort of" or "kind of" in there, before she said she's seeing someone? And will we really run into each other out here this summer -- at the bars or our daily workouts? What hurts the most -- hurts, ha, when our our relationship went no further than reporter and assistant coach -- is what she said. "Aw, and we have so much in common too." Which we do. Except she's seeing someone, and I'm not.

So she's the first girl I've thought of asking out in a long time, generating two conclusions: 1. I'm picky, selective, whatever, and it could be a while before I find someone I feel the same about, yet know relatively little about, again. And, 2. she reminded me there's hope -- No matter how long it takes, the next time I think I may never find someone, I can think of Amy knowing it'll happen.

Sometime.

I hope I'll have a chance to thank her for all of this someday.