As the days go by, Notre Dame's search for a new football coach gets, depending on your viewpoint, more frustrating or more comical. Each day seems to bring a new statement from a coach who politely removes himself from consideration or another who announces a new contract extension with his current school. Granted, the time when the head football coaching position at Notre Dame was The job to have has passed. There are reasons to choose Florida or Oklahoma over South Bend. But to see coaches refusing to leave places like California, Louisville or Boise State would have been unheard of eight or 10 years ago. Of course, there was no BCS back then and ESPN wasn't what it is today.

So now where does Notre Dame go? I've taken to rooting for Tom Clements, currently the offensive coordinator for the Buffalo Bills. He quarterbacked the Irish to the 1973 national championship and has received glowing endorsements from the likes of Joe Montana and Ara Parsegian. He'd have the emotional investment Notre Dame has lacked since Lou Holtz "resigned" and he's an offensive-minded coach who can maybe get ND's scoring average up to 30 points per game.

But if Clements decides he doesn't want to go back to college again (he got a law degree from Notre Dame in 1986 and was an assistant there in the early 90s), what to do? Heather and I started joking around the day Ty Willingham was fired, but now it's as much sad as it was funny then, when we thought South Bend would see some sort of Urban Renewal.

HEATHER: My bro in law had a good idea. He suggested George O'Leary again, because he went 0-11 this year; I pointed out that the fact that he's from Ireland makes all of that okay. So he went one better and suggested we hire Kathy Ireland. Bingo!
DAN: What about Bono? Colin Farrell? Oh, wait, the sex thing.
HEATHER: Yeah, he drinks too much. But Bono might have a shot.
DAN: U2 never got to play a concert at ND Stadium. If he's coach, I bet he can make that happen.
HEATHER: Oh my god. it's got to happen.
DAN: Let's register www.BonoToND.com and sell T-shirts.
HEATHER: My bro in law said, "wouldn't The Edge be a cool name for a defensive coordinator?"
DAN: And he could name Paul Hewson his offensive coordinator and whenever the cameras would show "him" in the press box, it would just be the shadow of some guy in a dark booth.
HEATHER: And The Corrs would be their assistants
DAN: Pierce Brosnan for RB coach and recruiting coordinator. "Hi, I'm Bond. James Bond. And I'd like to offer you a scholarship to Notre Dame."
HEATHER: Oh my god. i'd go.
HEATHER: Put me in pads, bitches.