OK, I know New Jersey gets a bad rap a lot of the time. A lifelong resident, I also know it's not true � or at least not nearly the whole story � and I can take comfort in the fact that most of those who look down upon the Garden State have no idea what they're talking about, and they're missing out.

Now, while New Zealand has given us Russell Crowe and Peter Jackson (big deal, if you ask me) and apparently has amazing scenery, one of the things I love most about New Jersey is the freedom I have to walk down the street and not be hit with exploding whale entrails.

Sure, we may have beautiful sunsets because of the smog hovering above (most of which comes east from places like Ohio) and the northern stretch of the Turnpike may have all the charm of a Texas oil refinery, but along our 120 miles of beautiful shoreline, to see whales you take a charter out of Cape May and watch them frolicking in the Atlantic. You don't pick them out of your hair.

In New Jersey, when we see blood on the streets, it's more likely that James Gandolfini and the cast of The Sopranos have just finished filming a scene than it is that the world's largest mammal has been blown to chunks.

Here, there's a better chance of winning at the slots in Atlantic City than there is of being covered in whale snot on Park Place.

While weather forecasts may be ocassionally wrong on whether it will snow or rain, exploding whale reports are hardly ever accurate. Governor McGreevy has done a good job of protecting this state from terrorists, and I'm certain that includes a suicide whale bomber.

There are endless suggestions for someone looking for "a whale of a good time" here in New Jersey � from minor league baseball to the beach to the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area ��but cleaning up a whale of a mess is not one of them.

Yes, we here in New Jersey have it pretty good. Minutes from the ocean, the mountains, New York City. Hours � days, even � from whale explosions.

I can think of one area where New Zealand has the edge. If you want to be a Whale Rider, that's where you head. Just remember to wear a helmet. And a wetsuit.

And abstain from eating.