I am horrible with jealousy, I really am. I don't handle it well, at least not at first, and I sometimes get unnecessary joys out of inspiring it in others. Generally, when someone has something or gets to do something I'm DYING to do, I wish it could be me. No matter what. Back in grade school, my best friend Matt got to meet Bruce Springsteen. The Boss -- this was the height of the Born In the U.S.A. days -- came to his street, visiting the neighbors across the street. It was because Bruce is a compassionate rock hero and was visiting a little girl with leukemia. But I didn't see it that way at first. I was like, "Man, Matt got to meet Bruce Springsteen." But, of course, it's a better tradeoff to not meet Bruce Springsteen and not know someone with leukemia.

This afternoon Casey called from work to see if I could drive her to the PATH station because she's meeting Kerry, who has tickets to the MTV Video Music Awards. And because Kerry's boss is Elton John or something (not really, but he does know Elton John; and that might not even be the reason Kerry has the tickets, but it just might be), they also have passes to the Green Room.

That didn't register with me at first, so I called Casey back to tell her that if she somehow actually MEETS Bruce Springsteen (who's headling the awards) OR Kelly from American Idol, she's sleeping on the couch tonight (Casey is, not Kelly). I didn't mean it of course, and I did apologize by saying, "I'm just teasing you. Have fun." But I'm more jealous than I thought. I don't even care about the awards (it's only MTV, and so many of them are dumb, as are half the bands, which we'll never hear from again). It's just that there will be so many famous people there, and I just want to see some of them. I'm not usually like this. It must be from dating Casey for a year and talking with Heather so much and my new job at an entertainment magazine. They've all added up to create an interest in celebrity gossip within me.

Speaking of Heather, she just found her way into Tuesday night's American Idol finale (the final competition show, not the results show). She said she'd wave at Kelly for me, but I want her to bring a sign.

Ah well, I guess my time will come. I mean, I have had access to some pretty cool sports arenas -- the clubhouse at Yankee Stadium, the field at Tiger Stadium, the ice at Madison Square Garden, the locker room at Notre Dame Stadium (pre-renovation). It's just that none of that makes Casey jealous.

See? It's a bitch, man.