THE LAST FIVE ...

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Monday, Aug. 18, 2003 - 8:52 p.m.

Chaos theory

If I remember what I was told in high school correctly, the gist of the "chaos theory" is that the natural order of the universe is that there is no order; everything is in chaos. The struggle comes from man's attempts to rein in and control the universe, or aspects of it.

I may be way off base, but if you want a more thorough and confusing explanation, read for yourself. It's the best I could find in three minutes.

I bring this up because I think Fadein has a point. Or, rather, his friend Natalie does.

On my weekend in Maine, I was hoping to take advantage of the amazing star-gazing opportunities offered by a house in a remote town 30 miles from the nearest town that could be considered a city and 10 miles from the nearest village that could be considered a town. The Perseid meteor shower peaks every August, but with a full moon coming on Aug. 12, the meteors would be virtually nonexistent. It turned out fine because with all the rain, there was only one night of my three there in which any heavenly bodies were visible. But on that night, Sunday, hovering a little to the left of the brilliant near-full moon was a stark orb, way to bright for any star and visible too late in the night to be Venus, the most common visible planet. I knew it was Mars.

Next Tuesday, Aug. 26, and Wednesday the 27th, Mars will be as close to Earth as it's been in the last 60,000 years � 34,646,428 miles. Based on the two planets' orbits, we Earthlings get to gaze up at our counterparts on the Red Planet every 14 months. But this time, it's closer than anyone alive today has ever seen. Only problem is that, for us on the East Coast of America, it'll be best seen between 1 and 2 a.m. Maybe I'll get up. (Check Sky Watch or some other reliable site to judge viewing options in your area.)

I seem to have digressed.

In recent weeks, I've noticed the Mars Phenomenon myself. Not just in the instances Bill cited (Heather and Lauren, for instance) but others, too.

I've learned that my high school girlfriend is engaged to the guy she dumped me for when we started college. This one actually was mentioned by a friend in a bar a month ago, and I was pretty drunk and then forgot about it. Whatever, not that I care. Frankly, my first thought was, "It's about freakin' time." They've been together for more than eight years. But she didn't come back into my life; that was just a small bit of news.

I've been having some weird dreams involving people from the past. They always leave me feeling strange when I first wake up, but I tend to forget about them by breakfast.

There's certainly been chaos. Shutting off the lights on half of America's population qualifies, I'd say. So would others.

My buddy Dave did some serious damage to his BMW during one of his autocross races on a recent Sunday. Luckily, he has that Honda convertible as a second car.

There's been chaos with my bank account and all the expenses I've had to deal with lately, like the car and various travel expenses and things.

And ask Kobe Bryant if things have been a little weird lately.

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