Look at that: July.

I learned a new British slang term the other day: "get your leg over." Or, more generally, "get one's leg over." It means sexual intercourse, and it's so much better than that tired old "shag" that Mike Myers beat like a dead horse into the ground, then dug it back up and beat again. And then again (there were two sequels, after all).

The other day, I learned what "bin lorries" are � garbage trucks.

I'm picking these terms up from some of the Brits around the office, one of whom when asked what terms the Brits had for sex started rattling them off: "Shag, fuck, screw, roger ..." like Bubba rattling off shrimp dishes in Forrest Gump. There's probably a Monty Python sketch about that somewhere. I'll let you know.

For all the jokes about the British inventing the language (see My Fair Lady) there are as many question marks as to just what the heck they're talking about. After reading and watching About A Boy, I became particularly fond of "bollocks" and used it often. It's really the only British word I've managed to use with any regularity in earnest and without forethought.

But those Brits � for all the images of a reserved, "proper" demeanor associated with the Queen and with which one might picture all her subjects � sure have plenty of terms for the components men and women have that makes them able to get a leg over on one another. The sex terms, of course, seem the funniest because, deep down inside, we're all still 12-year-olds telling jokes about "snakes in the grass" and "trains through the tunnel."

Why say "vagina" when you can say fadge, vadge, flange, furry cup, salmon canyon, slit, spunk bucket, spunk dustbin, stench-trench, hairy axe wound, honeypot, quim, gash, gee, growler, grumble, map of Tassie, mott, welly-top, wizard's sleeve, chuff or clout. So I consulted an online slang site to see what else they're saying across the pond. Good thing no one peered over my shoulder.

When "penis" can be too much, try tadger, tallywhacker, todger, tummy banana, spam javelin, stonker, pan handle, percy, pillock, plonker, pork dagger, pork sword, dobber, donger, wanger, winkle, lad, lob on, Hampton (wick), beaver cleaver, beaver lever, beef bayonet, boaby, nob, old chap, old fellow, chopper, John Thomas, mutton dagger, German helmet or Roundhead.

When putting a mutton dagger together with a wizard's sleeve, refrain from putting on your own Austin impression and go with bunk up, on the job, nob, friar tuck, have it away, have it off, how's your father (E.g."They are in the front room having a bit of how's your father."), rumpy-pumpy, stuffing or tonk.

And, you know, if you have no one to get your leg over, then take things into your own hands and � depending on whether you're male or female � have one off the wrist, thrap, toss off, do the kit kat shuffle, bash the bishop, strum, do the five knuckle shuffle or flick the bean.

Alright, enough of that.

So yesterday, I thought I did something very bad to my computer at work. Like Jessica, I am on a mix CD kick. I haven't burned quite so many lately, but I've been creating folders on iTunes and sliding songs in there, mulling over order and arrangement and, of course, theme. Yesterday, as I tried to burn a collection of tunes for the drive to Johnstown this weekend (which may be a CD for another trip, if we take Casey's car), the computer gave me a warning that there was hardly any memory available for the task. Yet it went ahead anyway when I clicked "OK."

Then it crashed. Big time. Not only did the CD become useless, but the computer froze, I had to force quit iTunes and then restart before I could get the CD out. On the reboot, the computer said there was a problem that it couldn't fix and I should "Back up the hard drive now." Yikes!

I learned how to allocate more memory to iTunes and then did the next thing you're supposed to do when you potentially break the computer at work: I turned it off and went home. Today, when I went to burn a CD, I sat nervously watching the little gray tube fill up from left to right as it made its way through the 20 songs until I got the soothing chime announcing its completion. Whew. I don't know if there's still that "unfixable" problem with the hard drive, but a good night's sleep left my computer ready to return to fulfilling my demanding music needs. As a precaution, I burned more than 600 megs of downloaded tunes onto a disc in mp3 format, just so I have a hard copy of them in the event, you know, I have to delete them or something. I've also got two more mp3 CDs worth of albums I've imported from people at work that I don't have in hard copy form, but I need to bring in some more discs for that. Or, you know, I could make the actual CDs.

But there are mixes to be made, themes to dream up. Someday, these are the mix CDs I intend to burn and if you can't understand my notes, make something up for yourself to believe:

� The 50 states (probably a three-disc set)
� New Jersey songs, Vol. 2
� Something like songs based on or inspired by historical events or legends (Springsteen's "American Skin," based on the controversial death of Amadou Diallo in New York comes to mind)
� Songs named after famous people ("Frank Sinatra" by Cake, "James Dean" by the Eagles, "James K. Polk" by They Might Be Giants)
� My favorite covers, of course, but I've also considered a disc that features the cover and the original back-to-back
� Funny and amusing songs written like "normal" songs; that is, not parodies or morning-show laugh-grabbers
� Songs that mention Kerouac (may need to expand this to include the Beats in general)
� One I just thought of: Taking two songs with the same title, but are different � imagine Adam Sandler's "Crazy Love" juxtaposed with Sinatra's of the same title
� Songs through the year
� Songs through a day