THE LAST FIVE ...

Closing up shop
- Wednesday, Aug. 02, 2006

It may be time for a change
- Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Entry in the air
- Friday, April 21, 2006

Still here
- Thursday, April 20, 2006

Music of the moment
- Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Or ... BE RANDOM!


GOOD READS

101 in 1001
American Road Trip, 1998


OTHER PEOPLE

Chupatintas
Dancing Brave
Fugging It Up
Kitty Sandwich
Mister Zero
Sideways Rain
Ultratart
Velcrometer


THE BASICS

My crew
Latest
Older
Notes
Our host
Profile

Monday, Aug. 26, 2002 - 2:13 p.m.

How clean can hair get?

I want to talk about women today.

Not all women, and not any certain type or group. I'm not making any sweeping, general assumptions, I'm just curious about something, something I do not understand.

What's with all the shampoo?

While showering this morning at my parents' house, I counted nine -- that's NINE -- bottles of shampoo and conditioner, combined. The breakdown: Five shampoo, four conditioner. I noticed the other day in my shower that Lori has about the same number, with the same breakdown, I believe. On top of that, she is away, and maybe has another bottle or two with her.

Casey, on the other hand, has one single, solitary bottle of shampoo and conditioner in one. It's been that way since I met her. (There are two or three products she uses after her shower, but we're talking about those used under the water here.)

So, I ask, what's up with that? (Or, as Carrie Bradshaw might ask, "While we are washing our hair every day, are we washing ourselves away?" Or something.)

I don't understand it. Maybe I'm not meant to, either. I can understand if someone needs a second kind of shampoo or conditioner for certain conditions or perhaps medical reasons. Fine, that's two of each; four bottles.

Do they multiply? Are there little shampoo/conditioner orgies going on in the middle of the night? (Are they even the same species?) If conditioners mate with conditioners, do they produce other conditioners? Does the shampoo/conditioner mix come from an inter-cleanser affair between a shampoo and a conditioner?

One other possible explanation is the curiosity factor, the desire to try a new brand, a new product, so you buy a new shampoo before you've finished using up the old one. But why does the old one continue to sit there? It would seem to me there would be two possible scenarios: Be frugal and use up the old one gradually; or make use of that disposable income just toss yesterday's shampoo.

Apparently, there's Option 3: Keep the old one around for old times' sake.

Now, I may be accused of some questionable sentimentality when it comes to inanimate objects, but shampoo is not one of them. It's not like there are any collectible, limited-edition shampoo bottles out there. (Though it is true that ANYTHING can be considered a collector's item so long as there is just one person who wants it.) I have not once ever looked at a shampoo bottle and felt a surge of nostalgia for those bygone high school showers of winter mornings. I may have one or two flashbacks when a certain shampoo scent reminds me of an eariler time, but I couldn't tell you without trying them out which ones do that; and I have no idea what memories they might evoke.

This question of mulitple shampoo and conditioner bottles has been presented to my mom in the past, and she's been unable to answer it. If she had, I'd think, there's be 4-5 fewer bottles in there today. I wonder if Lori -- if the younger generation -- can provide some clarity.

We'll see when she gets home.

Previous page: What part of \"meow\" don't you understand?
Next page: Why baseball won't die

� 1998-2004 DC Products. All rights reserved.

Yeah, sorry I have to be all legal on you here, but unless otherwise indicated, all that you read here is mine, mine, mine. But feel free to quote me or make fun of me or borrow what I write and send it out as an e-mail forward to all your friends, family and coworkers. Just don't say it's yours, you know?