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Monday, Dec. 9, 2002 - 8:27 p.m. Presenting John Madden's Sex-A-Strator�You'll need to read about Heather's road trip to understand the impetus for this. While reading (and laughing) this afternoon (WARNING: GAG-INDUCING MENTAL IMAGE APPROACHING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED), it occured to me that after sex, I'm sure John Madden can't help but break out the TeleStrator. Imagine, if you will, John Madden wrapped in the sheets, the perfect picture of a postcoital Jabba the Hut, as he rolls over to the edge of the bed, picks up the pen, and starts diagraming the insertion of the diaphragm on the TV... "See, right here, that's where a hole really opened up." Oh my God, I'm pretty disgusting. DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: "He can fire that thing farther than anyone I've ever seen." DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: DAN: HEATHER: And with that, ol' John Madden dozed off, lying back on his lover's arm as she contemplated gnawing off her arm to free herself.
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