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Thursday, July 3, 2003 - 12:16 p.m.

Why I should leave by 7:30

OK, so in addition to the five-year trip anniversary dealie (go back one), I just wrote something for work.

I asked my "boss" (we're all kind of equals in the research department, but he's the "research chief," so he's the one to talk to) if I could leave by 7:30 tonight. Actually, I said, "I'd like to leave by 7:30 tonight." He said, "OK, but you have to write me a 500-word essay on why I should let you leave by 7:30."

So I did. It's all tongue-in-cheek, written in a pseudo-What-I-Did-On-My-Summer-Vacation sixth-grade composition kind of tone.

Why I should be able to leave by 7:30

By Dan C.

I think I should be able to leave by 7:30 tonight because I am a good, hard worker. I fulfill my responsibilities each day in a thorough and timely fashion because I believe in being prompt with my work. I don�t think it�s in anyone�s best interests to drag out the workday any longer than it already is.

I know sometimes I will whine and moan when certain stories are placed in front of me, but I do that more for levity than as an earnest complaint. We all could use a little more laughter in our lives, don�t you think? I do. I really, really, really, really do. Really.

The reason I want to leave by 7:30 tonight � and notice that I am not saying �leave early� (though I wouldn�t argue about that!) and I am not even asking to leave �on time�; ["Good, you put the semicolon outside the quotation marks," he said. "Not many people know to do that."] I am only asking to leave at a certain time 90 minutes beyond what is supposed to be our regular quitting time � is because my friend Casey and I are going on a trip this weekend. We are driving to Johnstown, Pennsylvania, which is a whole six hours away! Tonight we are only driving to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because that�s where Casey�s sister Tessa lives. We are going to visit Tessa tonight, and then Tessa is coming with us tomorrow when we go to Johnstown.

In Johnstown, we will stay with Casey and Tessa�s dad and step mom. Sunday is Casey�s dad�s birthday, so tomorrow night, the birthday of this great country we call America, he is having a party in the backyard. He will probably get me drunk on wine and beer. He has a kegerator in the basement! On Saturday, he has gotten tickets for the five of us to go see the Houston Astros play the Pittsburgh Pirates at PNC Park, which we sometimes call Pink Park.

But on Sunday, his actual birthday, we will have to leave. We�ll have to take Tessa back to Lancaster first (and they pronounce it LANK-aster in Pennsylvania, so don�t screw that up!) and then we�ll continue on home from there.

I think I should be able to leave by 7:30 because this is an important family trip, though it�s not my family. But family is important, and I think families should stay close and visit each other every now and then � definitely a couple of times a year. Casey isn�t lucky like you or me because her family lives at the other side of Pennsylvania while we live close to ours in New Jersey, and she doesn�t get to see them as often as we do ours.

In these times after September 11["Oh, you didn't reference September 11th, did you?" he joked. "It better be tongue-in-cheek, or you're staying until nine!"], do you think people should be kept from seeing their families? If that day taught us anything, it�s that we need to worry less about work and money and life and spend more time laughing and dancing and singing and living life. That�s what Brian Boitano would do, I�m sure. What is this, Vassar?

[Those last two sentences are little workplace jokes we have: One, obviously, is refering to South Park; the second was from a Letterman Top Ten � something about Lizzie Grubman in prison, I think.]

He liked it so much he posted it outside his cubicle. It's like a gold star.

Oh, and if you're wondering: It's exactly 500 words � 512 if you count the title and my name.

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