THE LAST FIVE ...

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Saturday, Jan. 31, 2004 - 8:21 a.m.

Nicole Kidman kissed me

I want to go back to that dream. The one I just had. The one where Casey and I have a nice, big house with a pool and a hot tub out back and a big yard and huge rooms. The one where Tessa and Kerry were over our big house when there's a ring of the doorbell and I open it and it's Nicole Kidman, whom we'd met once and she liked us and now she's come over to just hang out and be "normal" and we're just sitting around and talking and watching TV. Later we're out at the pool and I can't find my bathing suit, so I'm struggling to get something and everyone's downstairs having fun and I can't get there. That's the part that's like most of my dreams � the ones I used to have where I had to get to school in 15 minutes and I was miles away and had to walk; the ones where I had to get someone somewhere in a hurry and I only had a stick shift to drive; the ones (years and years ago) where I had this great beautiful girlfriend and things always kept coming up as we were trying to have sex ... and then, eventually, in all of them, I wake up before � to put it in video game terms � finishing the level. It was that kind of dream, because earlier, Nicole in her sincerity, thanked me for just being a friend and not caring about who she was and she kissed me, and it was nice, and at that moment in the dream, I was her biggest fan ever. But I couldn't find my bathing suit and everyone was down at the pool having fun and soon they were all her friend and I wasn't and she left.

* * *

Stupid me. I'm sitting here at 8:30 writing an entry because I have to leave at 9 to go to Rutgers for the basketball game against Notre Dame. It's at noon. I live 45 minutes � tops � away. I got up at 8 to leave time to shower and have breakfast. I got out of the shower at 8:20 and had 40 minutes to kill. Because I don't have to eat. Because the reason I have to leave at 9 is to meet Dad and Steve by 10 because Steve's an RU alum and got tickets and we're meeting for BRUNCH.

I don't have to eat. I should've slept until 8:30.

And now I'm hungry.

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