You know what the lamest gimmick is in the music business? Other than the thing where they release two -- perhaps three if you're lucky -- great singles and then fill the rest of the $18 disc with crap?

It's the greatest hits CD with "new, unreleased tracks" or "new recordings."

It's obviously done to get an artist's die-hard fans to fork over the money for a CD of songs they already have because they own every single album said artist has ever produced. And usually it sucks.

Take Billy Joel's Greatest Hits Volume 1 & 2. After about 10 years, the Piano Man decided that all his fans needed a double album of his tunes. Someone screwed up along the way and forgot to put "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" on the cassette version. Instead, we got "While The Night Is Still Young," a song that came up on my iTunes today and prompted these thoughts. I was nine years old in 1985 when the album came out, and it was about seven more years before the family got a CD player. So we had the cassette version. As a young child new to "popular music," my tastes were limited. I thought Billy Joel rocked. I rented some live concert video filmed on Long Island about 10 times because it was the first concert footage I'd ever seen.

And because of the greatest hits double disc, I thought "While The Night Is Still Young" was some of the man's best work, along with "You're Only Human (Second Wind)."

What a load of crap.

He did it on his third greatest hits CD too, adding "To Make You Feel My Love," "Hey Girl" and "Light As the Breeze." "To Make You Feel My Love" was an interesting release because it was written by Bob Dylan, who put it on his Time Out Of Mind album, and also covered by Garth Brooks for Hope Floats, and all of them came out around the same time.

Other artists have done it. Don Henley put together all his solo hits (from a total of a mere three solo albums) and then threw on "Garden of Allah," "You Don't Know Me At All" and a cover of Leonard Cohen, "Everybody Knows." I liked "Garden of Allah" at the time.

Eh.

Bruce Springsteen did it well. There were rumors that his Greatest Hits CD was more the record company's idea of his greatest hits than his, but to add the Oscar-winning "Streets of Philadelphia" along with "Blood Brothers" and "This Hard Land" made it a worthwhile buy. "Murder Incorporated" is the weakest of the four, but it does make for a great live song.

Barenaked Ladies also peppered their Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits with three newbies, but I haven't bought that one. I did get a copy of their Bruce Cockburn cover "Lovers In A Dangerous Time," which is a fab version. Ironically, they did it after poking fun of box set and greatest hits releases in "Box Set":

Disc One
It's where we've begun, it's all of greatest hits,
and if you are a fan then you know that you've already got 'em.

For a while, I was one of those who'd go out and buy an artist's greatest hits because I felt that I had to have everything he or she put out. I needed that extra track or two, even though I didn't need the first 14, which I had on all the other albums. Now, with the ability to burn mix CDs and produce my own greatest hits compilations of my favorite artists (usually with about six more songs than anything a major label would produce), it's even less necessary.

I started writing today's entry, as I mentioned above, because of Billy Joel's appearance during my iTunes shuffle. Then I had an urge to visit The Friday Five. And it's on vacation this week. So I checked out last week's. And what do you know, but it's about music.

So here goes.

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why?

It's got to be Springsteen. It started innocently enough in 1984 or 85 with Born In The U.S.A., the fact that I'm from New Jersey, and his visit to my best friend's dying neighbor. But I became interested in him just as he was taking a break in his career. After Born In The U.S.A., the band took a break and he put out some different things. And he didn't tour. Once I saw him live, with the E Street Band, I was hooked and knew I wouldn't go back. I'm seeing him on Wednesday, for the eighth time.

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?

It's got to be Celine Dion. You really need to ask why? I couldn't even watch Performing As ... on Fox when that chick wanted to be Celine Dion. I literally cringe whenever I hear her, which is all too often now with the Chrysler commercials. I guess Chrysler's given up on its campaign to attract younger drivers. Or at least cool ones. I remember walking out of Titanic with someone in college (was that you, Heather?) who said, "Oh GOD! Run!" and we high-tailed it up the aisle as the credits rolled.

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?

It seems to me that this question would prompt one to ask, Would I still know him if he wasn't? How? But we'll assume I would. And yes, I think I would still like Springsteen. Having seen him in concert enough and heard him in interviews, I know we share similar political beliefs. He does good work for lots of local New Jersey charities. He has a neat house. He likes ice cream and baseball.

4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?

I think I've answered this one over and over and over again. While I've seen so many shows that were so very good for so many reasons, I'll always compare them to a 50-something guy who goes for nearly three straight hours and runs and jumps and sweats and clearly gives all he has.

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from downloading free music?

I feel bad for those who were sued and it's hard to sympathise bad for the big record companies and all these rich artists, but because I still fancy myself a writer and hope that someday I may publish something wildly successful (book, movie, song, something), I can understand why we have copyright law. I think the sites that allow you to pay 99 cents per song or something like that are a reasonable alternative, allowing fans to select which songs they'd like and cut out the crap. Eighteen songs for $18 is a better deal than 12 songs -- mostly crap -- for $18.