The nine Democratic candidates for next year's presidential election held a debate last night in Baltimore.

I know, who knew?

Ironically, it was sponsored by Fox News Channel, a network considered by many to be as conservative as they come. Sponsoring a Democratic debate.

Right.

So one of the questions asked of the candidates was what each one's favorite song is. Let's look at the responses. I didn't see the debate (was there any advance notice of it?) so I don't know the context of the question. Though the Los Angeles Times used the word "favorite," let's look at the responses in terms of campaign songs, because that's more fun.

Former Senator Carol Moseley Braun of Illinois selected "You Gotta Be" by Des'ree. Not sure if you wanna go with the one-hit wonder for your push for the presidency. But in general, it's a good song for such an endeavor, an optimistic tune:

Not to mention the chorus:

I can guarantee you, though, that the first president to say that "love will save the day" in an important political speech will not go very far.

The ever-articulate Al Sharpton went with "Talking Loud and Saying Nothing." But it wasn't a shot in the foot; instead, he described it as "James Brown's song about the Republican Party."

True, this sounds like an accurate summation of the way this country's been run recently. Many of those who speak out against Bush, the Republicans and his and their policies bring up money in one way or another: Taxes shouldn't have been raised, the budget's too high, the deficit's too big, etc. But it obviously won't work as a campaign song because, if he were to be the Democratic candidate chosen to go up against Bush -- shudder -- there wouldn't be enough time (and there's no way to ensure it either) to explain the song's use at each appearance, on each broadcast. It is something that Sharpton can quote easily, however: "The Republicans, our president, they're just talking loud and saying nothing." Have you ever watched a Bush press conference closely (there've only been about six)? He talks quietly, but if you listen closely, he says very, very little. He repeats the same phrases over and over, and he'll often not answer many questions directly.

North Carolina Senator John Edwards -- not to be confused with psychic medium John Edward -- went with "Small Town" by John Mellencamp. For those who know the song, it seems harmless. It's often a common campaign strategy to promote oneself as an "outsider," a politician from "outside the Beltway." Those are the candidates trying to distance themselves from Washington, from the government many fear or believe has grown too big. You'll often hear the word "change" -- as in "time for a change" -- brought up with "outsiders" who want to convince voters that they're going to come in and do things differently from the way the current administration did (which, presumably, led to many problems in the country).

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think it's such a good idea to be talking about your death -- no matter how far off it may seem -- when you're trying to sell people on your vision of the future.

OK, so your job sucks so much that you figured, "Hey, why don't I give this presidency thing a try?"

"VOTE FOR EDWARDS! ANOTHER BORING ROMANTIC!"

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry answered with Bruce Springsteen's "No Surrender." This looks to be a motto just by the title. "Vote for me, and I won't back down" -- which would be another possible campaign song -- "I will stand up to the dissenters, I will fight for what's right for America!"

Ah yes, get them excited by starting off with a song about a guy cutting class, calling teachers -- and presumably other authority figures -- "fools" and dissing schools in general. Try proposing an education platform after that.

Hmm ... the presidency does have a tendency to make the man who holds office look considerably older after four or eight years, but you don't want to be talking about your heart of fire -- your enthusiasm, your drive -- growing cold and longing to be young again and, presumably, not have to deal with the obstacles thrown in your way.

I want to know what intern held up a card in the audience and told former Vermont governor Howard Dean to choose "Jaspora" by Wyclef Jean.

Um, this one I can't quite figure out. That might be because the lyrics seem to be in another language. I can't even tell what language it might be from looking at it. What the heck is this guy doing? Maybe it has a great beat.

Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman, he of the Gore-Lieberman ticket in 2000, went schitzo. He mentioned both "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" by Fleetwood Mac and "My Way" by Frank Sinatra.

The Fleetwood Mac song is the one Bill Clinton used during his campaign in 1992, and if there's anyone still not tired of it, he or she is probably not old enough to vote anyway. Party affiliations aside, associating yourself with that song will drive away more than a few people on the fence who know at least that they want to distance themselves fromClinton.

As for "My Way," again, another song title that could intimate that this guy isn't going to take any shit from anybody, he's going to be steadfast and strong.

Or stubborn. In fact, it seems like we've been experiencing a "My Way" presidency for three years now.

Except, you don't really want to walk out onto a podium to this song:

Dude, it's only just begun. Don't be talking about the end being near.

A later verse does seem rather appropriate for Lieberman:

Yes, the way you and Al Gore "lost" that election has provided laughter all these years.

Dennis Kucinich, a representative from Ohio responded with John Lennon's "Imagine." This clearly has to show that the question was "favorite" song, not "campaign" song. I just don't think there are enough people out there who would adopt the calm, peace-loving approach an "Imagine" campaign would suggest.

It's a nice thought, but I find it hard to believe in this day and age in America that there is a candidate who can successfully campaign on the notion of world peace and everyone living together as one.

The Senator from Florida, Bob Graham, went with a fellow Floridian: Jimmy Buffett. "Changes In Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" may seem like a harmless enough song by the title.

Don't count on it.

The thought of our president only taking a weekend off -- rather than an entire month -- is refreshing, particularly with everything happening around the world. But you're going nowhere if you choose a song that has so much drinking in it.

But as a congressman, there's one line that has to be appropriate:

And, finally, we've got another Springsteen selection. Leave it to Representative Richard "Dick" Gephardt to make the same mistake Ronald Reagan did in 1984: choose "Born In The U.S.A."

Two years ago, I was still working at the newspaper. By the weekend of September 15 -- the Saturday after the 11th -- high schools were back to playing football. Games on Friday had been rescheduled or postponed, many to the following Monday, but the Saturday games went on. Many of the teachers and administrators -- and many parents, I think -- felt it was better for the kids in general to get back to some sense of normalcy.

So that Saturday, I'm covering a game after which the public address announcer -- some old guy who probably went to the school at which this game was played and still hasn't left town -- makes a patriotic statement and then blares "Born In The U.S.A." as the fans filed out of the bleachers and the teams walked off the field. And I groaned.

It's not a "Go USA!" type of song. It's not patriotic. It's not, "I love America!" In fact, Bruce himself actually had to write a letter to Reagan's campaign requesting they no longer use the song and suggesting that they listen to it more closely. Even the Irish Independent picked up on it, mentioning it in May in advance of Springsteen's show in Dublin:

The title track is one of the most misunderstood rock songs ever. Many mistake its bravado and intensity for flag-waving, hand-over-heart patriotism. The song tells the story of a Vietnam vet who returns to the country he protected and served only to find himself apariah, unable even to secure work at the local refinery. It's the American dream gone horribly wrong -- small-town kid goes off to war to avoid jail time, loses his brother in battle, and comes home to face a future as bleak as his past.

The lyrics seemed to bypass the Republican Party completely and they tried to use it for President Ronald Reagan's campaign for re-election.

See for yourself:

So maybe when the Democratic nominee is finally determined sometime next summer, the campaign could consult me in determining what might be the best song for the candidate at his appearances.

It will be my first step toward becoming part of The West Wing.